So apparently I'm a bit of a drama queen at times.  I appoligize for this if it has affected anyone personally.  Im realizing lately that growing up is about the toughest damn thing that no one really prepares you for.  Not that I would've believed them if they had.  I think college could probably be a really exciting experience for some people...I'm just wondering where mine went.  I miss my friends....I never thought I would but lately I've been reminiscing about my early years of highschool when all of us girls would hang out and it would be a blast...I think Lauren really brought us all together.  We make fun of her for being so crazy, but she really has such a special quality.  My ass needs a good kicking....maybe then I'll start focussing on the things that are realy important in life.  Don't get me wrong, I am so in love with my boyfriend and he is so special to me...I seriously don't know what I'd do without him because he has brought me so much joy in my life...that part of my life is like the only thing that even seems real.  I just have to grow up I guess.  Here I am complaining again.  I guess I'm just frustrated....and lonely.  I miss being...well innocent I guess!

Speaking of innocent...I hope everyone doing something fantastic for spring break.  My endeavors may include visiting a special someone in the Minneapolis region of this great country.  I hope it works out.  I miss her like crazy and could really afford to get my club on!   Enjoy your time off safely...I've watched too many E! True Hollywood stories about spring break to participate in that sort of behavior myself.

Take Care and God Bless,

Jsk

COLLEGE SUCKS

all that wishing i was here last year....the people are great but school is the worst.  I think I curse williston high school about a thousand times a day for not letting me at least attempt to get a quality education using the dual credit program.  I feel like I'm so far behind everyone else because of the opportunities they had at their high schools.  I just wish I could have known I would need to do things myself to get prepared for college....I had no idea....

One bonus...college makes you REALLY excited to go home.  I cannot wait to leave in only a few short hours and I get to spend a long weekend with my family.  It's long overdue.  Also my favorite season is in the air and snow is freshly falling outside my window...I can't even enjoy its beauty because I'm too busy cursing my long walk in it to class.  I'm done ranting now.

HAVE A GREAT TURKEY DAY!!!!!!

praise the non cafeteria style food....

I feel like I'm suffocating...I'm coming to realize the fact that my old friends are making new friends and here I sit not a part of their life.  I don't even know what's going on with them...I don't feel close to them at all...where do I fit in here?  How can I move away and have a life somewhere else when I don't even know who I am here?  As time goes on, I am becoming more and more afraid of life without this life.  I just feel so lost...There's only one thing I feel like I have a true grasp on and even that has been rather up and down lately...I just want to quit...I need some sort of escape or thread of happiness...I just feel so detatched that I could rip my hair out. Sleep should be done more often

hormones = ghey

It's been nearly 2 months since I've written here, but some terrifying news roused me to make a post.  A beautiful young woman that I only knew briefly was killed in a car accident this week.  She and I shared a week together at camp this summer in the same cabin.  She was a beautiful person, quiet and goofy, and she really touched my heart without saying much.  I remember a few weeks ago my sub-name for msn was "somebody save me..." which is a lyric from the theme song of Smallville, but she was concerned there was something wrong with me and she asked if everything was okay.  She was such a sweet person and I know she'll be well received in heaven.  I think Jimmy Eat World says it best:

And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
God wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

You'll be dearly missed Jami Herness...and I thank you now for the impression you made on my heart, whether you knew it or not....may angels lead you in.